Fan Fics In A Nutshell
by Dani-Of-The-Dark
Summary: This... is a joke. Don't read it, really. It's a parody of fan fictions in general, with all the bad terms, plenty of grammar mistakes, and characters saying things that just completely ruin the mood. It's even gay, as a majority of fan fiction contains gay characters. One's Asian too with a phony Asian name!


Sitting on the couch, zombie stockings under his ripped maid's dress, Akuji Valentine laid as if he was dead, eyes rolled into the back of his sockets, though, somehow, his figure still looked soft and touchable, yet deceiving and manly all at once.  
The music changed, and Chris Saichi came out with a dark tuxedo on, stained with cherry syrup. The upbeat song brought the room into a dance, but Chris wasn't about to dance. First, he needed a partner.  
The Italian's eyes went to a lovely maiden on a couch, faking death perfectly. He went over and lightly stroked her cheek, and, in return, he earned a zombie moan. Both were acting beyond perfection! Akuji sat up and grabbed his shirt, pulling him close.

"You dare wake me up?" he exclaimed, though he was playful, teasing.

Chris gasped, instantly dropping that act and falling into another. He went doe-eyed. "I'm sorry!"

"You better be sorry," Akuji purred, smirking. A voice from the crowd called out, and Akuji smirked, letting go of Chris. "Meet me at the roof tonight," he wispered seductively in Chris' ear. Then, just like that, the raven-haired male got up and disappeared into the crowd.

It was an hour later, and most of the party had cleared out. By this point, Akuji no longer had the maid's dress on, but he did have a sexy pair of fangs in and red contacts. His second costume of the night: vampire. Chris, likewise, had made a costume change, a change into a pair of pink, ladies' underwear. Someone had too much to drink!

Akuji looked around, spotting the drunken Chris, and went to him, putting a finger under his chin. "My, I think you would look so much better..." He lowered his head and pressed his lips to Chris' ear. "Naked."

Chris squeaked and blushed uber darkly. "Um, um, um..." He was completely lost for words.

"Come," Akuji commanded and took Chris' hand. To the roof they went.

At the top of the steps, Chris tripped on the landing and fell on to Akuji, and, unfortunately, Akuji fell down!

And...

They rubbed groins together. Oh, the hotness! Akuji groaned and flipped them, and it started to rain. "I will have you tonight," he whispered sultrilly against Chris' neck.

Again, the boy blushed badly, big brown eyelashes batting at the bigger male. "But... but... I'm... I'm..."

"A virgin?" the half-Asian male asked, lips pulling up into a smirk. He bit his neck, getting a mewl out of Chris. Again and again, the cute Italian boy mewled as the other bit and licked and kissed over his skin.

"Yes!" Chris mewled, face beet red. "Oh... take me..."

Akuji undressed them, taking each article off, one by one, fingers brushing over Chris' soft, perfect skin. He undressed himself after.

"Nnnn..." Chris mewled.

[o; Cue sexy mode of fan fic... not so sexy.]

Akuji took Chris' manhood in hand and pumped him like he was cocking a gun, quick, hard, and rough. The little boy gasped in pain.

"Not so rough..." he said with tears in his eyes. "I'm not nearly as strong as chu..." He pouted up at him.

Akuji felt horible, oh so horrible! How could he do that to his Chrissy? "I'm so, so sorry!" he exclaimed! "How can I make it up to you?"

Chris sniffled and sat up. "You can... buy me ice cream after this..." This made Akuji smile and nod.

They pressed their bodies together, Chris' face forever red, and Akuji's hair forever wet by the rain. He was so hot and sexy, and Chris was so cute and soft and warm and fuckable. He was so fuckable!

Akuji couldn't stand it. He shoved his finger in Chris and pressed against his sweetest-ever spot and took his manrod back in hand. He was softer this time as he moved his digits ever-so-perfectly to make the boy arch and screech and moan and groan in feelings he had never felt before.

"Oooooh, Akuji!" Chris called out. "Take me, take me, take me!"

Akuji moaned for no reason, apparently Chris telling him to take him almost making him cum. "Close your eyes," he said with some mysterious breathlessness that came from nowhere, like his erection. "I want to make you feel higher than high."

Chris closed his eyes. Akuji pulled his single finger out. Thunder sounded above them. Rain fell on them. Akuji pressed in. Then they kissed. They kissed so hard, their mouths started to drool, and, when Akuji pulled back from their kiss, not only was the sex over, but there was a lovely trail of spit from one mouth to the other.

"You're not a virgin anymore..." Akuji wispered as the rain washed away the evidence.

Chris blushed ever-so-deeply again. "I know..." he whispered back. "But... I'm so glad it was with you, Aku. I love you!"

"I love you too. Will you be mine?" Akuji. 


End file.
